Common Mistakes Parents Make With Their Kids

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Upset girl listening to parents quarreling in the kitchen

It is not unseen for couples who think they are ready to start having children to make mistakes as they walk down the lane of parenthood. These mistake, intentional or not, go a long way in affecting the lives of their kids in the most traumatic forms. There is a reaction for every action taken.

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Most young adults often get in trouble as a result of mistakes their parents made while raising them and it has been reported that about 70% of teenagers with mental health-related issues developed from how they were raised.

Adults generally assume that because they are ready to start having children that nothing can go wrong with parenting and raising a child is naturally instinctive. The psychological implication associated with the parent’s relationship with their children is very significant as it plays a vital aspect in how they can handle societal pressure. Correcting common mistakes parents make;

Comparing kids:

Parents do more harm when they are in the habit of comparing a child with other kids who performed better in social activities such as sports, or academic activities, with the aim of encouraging them.

This a very negative way to encourage a child as he or she sees himself or herself as inferior rather than feel the need to improve. They key into the comparison and see themselves as a failure, hence killing their self-esteem. Individuals who do not do well in the workforce may have suffered from this form of mental suppression as they were put down with words by their parents as kids.

Overprotecting and over pampering kids:

Kids build stronger immunity against sicknesses when allowed to play, fight or even get dirt on themselves with their peers. Parents who become overly protective and deter their children from exploring not only weaken their defence mechanism but you give the kids the impression that they are not allowed to make mistakes. This invariably hinders the will to learn new things and develop on what they already know. Youngsters need to learn to do but things by themselves, sometimes without the involvement of their parents.

Exposing children to negative habits:

Children catch up too quickly to what they see. If you are a father or a mother who is in the habit of smoking and drinking or indulge in other dirty habits while your child watches you, you are inevitably causing a ripple effect. 90% of smoking and drinking adults reported that they experienced their father or mother or both of their parents indulge, and felt it was just fine also to indulge. Monkey see monkey do.

The health risks associated with these habits are also very alarming. STOP IT!

Engaging in sexual acts:

This should be a no-no. A child’s brain should have limits to things it’s being exposed to. They go to school to learn, to see, to hear and process the information you have no control over, but at home, you can control the things they mentally consume. The television programs, the images on their computers, the magazines they read, and the friends they hang out with are within your reach. It is highly imperative that you put these factors in check.

Some parents get sexually intimate in front of their kids, without thinking about the consequences.  If you must get naughty with your partner, do well to get a ROOM, and avoid doing it in the presence of your child or children. Don’t assume they would understand. They process information differently.

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Let your NO be NO:

Children are known to be very demanding, and they would throw the slightest tantrum to get what they want. You won’t be helping the case if you always give mini you the candies on the top shelf just because you don’t want him or her crying. NO is also a positive answer.

Don’t spoil your child by giving them the idea they can have just anything by being naughty. Hold your ground when necessary. It goes a long way in raising a responsible child.

Mind your child’s addiction:

Addiction isn’t age or gender restricted. If your child is addicted to watching TV at odd times, handling gadgets when home works are yet to be done, always want to do a particular unhealthy thing, then you should know that is a trigger warning. The earlier you train your child the proper way, the better before it’s too late.

It is your responsibility to put these things in check before you grip on the reins. Never assume a child would miraculously outgrow a phase. Sometimes they never do.

Respect your child’s opinion:

Children have ideas, rights and views of their own. Telling a child to “Shut up” is indirectly saying their opinions don’t matter, that their ideas mean nothing. This has numerous negative effect, and one most common is “low self-esteem”, especially among their peers. Giving your children a listening ear not only empowers them to improve on themselves, but it also boosts their confidence, as well as increases their chances in surviving in any social environment.

Mind your grammar:

The use of the “F” word and other countless vulgar words should not be used when kids are around if at all a point must be made using the word. It would be no laughing matter when you hear Michael Jnr who is almost a year old use the “N” word as his first word. It would even be more embarrassing having your 3-year-old use the “B” word at a recital in the presence of other parents.

How you raise your children shows just how responsible you are as a parent, and plays an even more critical role in how your kids grow up.

Don’t be too busy to bond:

Some parents get too busy with daily activities that they miss out on the most critical aspects of the lives of their children. No matter how busy your work schedule, make out the time to bond with your kids.

You not only get to be part of their lives, but you also get to be a friend as well. This creates the chance for parents to monitor their growing up better, as well as eliminate potential mistakes they might be making or have made. Being a part of your children lives also gives you the opportunity to teach your kids the family trade if any.

Bear in mind that mistakes do happen as you are human and not perfect, however, consider the things you do as a parent. The earlier, the better if effective amends if you’ve lost your track raising your child the right way. Discuss with your partner for better parenting. It is not a day’s job, and it would require the help of your partner.

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parental mistakes
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Oluwafemi Michael
Oluwafemi Michael is an online Mental Health Therapist, Advocate for Mental Health Awareness, a programmer, and also a content creator from Edo state, Akoko-Edo LG.
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